Getting My Groove Back

I’m not much of a people person. I never have been. I enjoy my alone time. Solitude. It’s what makes me tick. I enjoy being by myself. I accomplish so much when I am left to my own devices. When there are others around, I tend to get caught up in never-ending conversations, and other things that distract me from being productive.

The internet has caused me to be unproductive. I’ve spent too much time on social media as of late, and the negativity has pulled me down into a black hole. I normally just let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back, but eventually, the accumulation of negative bullshit starts eating away at me and I react. Sometimes I over-react. That’s just how I’m wired. I can’t seem to control it.

This time, I took some time away from the negative posts and the people that post them. Back to solitude, the joy of being alone. The internet and the connection with others is grand, however, it becomes too crowded at times. Too many opinions, too much division, hatred, and misinformation. Continue reading

Testing, testing… 1,2,3. Hello February?

This is more a reminder for me than an update for anybody else. Life is pretty hectic at the moment and I need to remind myself that I also have this blog.

Let’s be honest some days you just aren’t feeling it we just don’t have it in us to kill it and really who says we have to? We were not created to be constantly seeking, doing, searching or forcing. There is no shame in wanting and needing a break. sometimes your soul absolutely deserves it.

There will always be a time when you feel like shit, when your energy will be depleted; when you will revel in feeling sorry for yourself ;  when you literally may want to set your entire life on fire and watch it burn. Do you think having these moments or thoughts makes you a bad person? They sure as hell do not.

There really is nothing sexy or appealing about perfection. Own your energy, revel in your mess. Do the very best with whatever you are given. The world does not need you picture perfect and and prim and proper. The world needs your rawness, the uncut and unedited version. Continue reading

I Can Survive Anything

Okay. So here we are again. I don’t really know what this post will be about yet but I had the “urge” or need to write for over a week now. At first, I had another topic in mind, which eventually never happened because I either was too tired or afraid to write it down – you never know who will read your blog in the end and how they’ll see you afterwards. I concluded that I can’t force specific topics and issues, so whenever I feel to write or talk about something, I will do it. And if I just want to ramble, I will do it.

And today I will ramble and probably talking a lot of nonsense. This is just because I have so much going on. I can feel my mood swinging very often and just be mentally exhausted. I know for a fact that I am not physically tired, even though I rarely get my 8 hours sleep. Sometimes I’m just tired of having to function, to work, socialize, walk around or even send a simple message via WhatsApp. I don’t know which is worse; being in a room full of people, or being alone with my thoughts. Both are debilitating. I could stay in bed all day and still be tired. Tired and unsatisfied.

It’s been a while since I journaled. How have I been doing? Really well, thanks for asking. It’s been hella busy, but I’m handling things better than I thought I would.

I did have a meltdown in the beginning of the year when I was suddenly hit with all the shit I had to do. I felt myself sinking, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get out.

But I did. I always do. Continue reading

Take Control

Photo from here

I can honestly say that November/December has been quite a bittersweet month for me. It has been ripe with financial mishaps, tons of work stress and various other happenings that would make a really juicy telenovela…Life.

Let’s just say that I have not been my most vibrant, positive self. I am often disappointed that I am not Wonder Woman and as a result, I can’t fix all the problems of the world. Is that a trait of all women or just my overly obsessive gemini moon tendencies?

I found myself in desperate need of a spiritual pick me up. It is a  work in progress. I decided to share this with you because I love spreading good vibes and you like me may be tired, stressed or just need a little boost.

Here are mine…

Continue reading

It’s Okay To Feel Lost In Your Twenties

Growing up, I always thought that I’d be happy when I reached my twenties. It seemed like such a grown-up number. People in their twenties were young, carefree… They could do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted because they were adults. Parents couldn’t tell them what to do anymore.

Since reaching this oh-so-magical time in my life, I realise that things are a bit more complicated than I initially thought they would be. Even though I really hate using the term “complicated” to describe life, you should all know it’s accurate, nevertheless. The reality is that we can’t just waltz off and do whatever we want. We all have responsibilities – and if we don’t have responsibilities, we need money to get anywhere. This was something I never had to think about as a child. I don’t think I would have been able to understand it, anyway.

So here I am, in my late twenties, wondering if I’m living my life wrong. Deep down I still think that I should be happy simply because I’m supposedly “grown-up” and young. I think this feeling is often reinforced by other members of society – particularly, though not always, an older crowd that has the best of intentions.

I don’t understand where the concept of being carefree in your twenties even comes from. At this point in time, we’re still trying to figure out what we want from life and how to go about getting it. At times, we question the decisions we’ve made – should we have chosen differently? Continue reading

Be Careful With Your Words

Hi there lovelies. I don’t know about you guys but the past two months have been one emotional roller coaster ride.

Have you guys ever felt that way like you just can’t deal with all of the ”stuff ” that life throws at you sometimes? Everything becomes so difficult and burdensome and a downright chore. How do you cope when feeling like you can’t? What are some of the ways you stay motivated when life gets you down?

I have been having problems with a friend who I think is a complete jerk. I’ve tried to be mature about it but can’t help being angry everytime I see him and consumed by negative emotions. I get upset when someone use bad words for me. What should be my reaction at that time?

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.
– Aristotle

But as Aristotle said – it’s not about getting angry, it’s about getting angry in the right way. And in most situations, keeping your cool is better for you, and produces better results.

Anger was really driving me crazy but now i am managing it a bit .You are sure to bump onto difficult people/situations then it’s helpful to take a deep breath and detach yourself physically / mentally from the situation. Continue reading

Break The Rules

*Warning this post may contain moments of rambling. My thoughts decided to have a tennis match in my head today. LOL

Sometimes in life, you have to disobey the rules. Now I don’t mean that laws that govern us and dictate how not to be a horrible human being. Although history has shown some of these same very rules, and laws have discriminated and disadvantaged several individuals. If that is not proof enough that we should not blindly follow certain rules,  I don’t know what is. I am specifically speaking about the ”rules ” as perceived by others.

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Now I must admit I am quite stubborn and do not take orders very well . Especially ones I do not agree with. Just ask my last two managers; Managers just love opinionated workers don’t they? Continue reading

I Have Been Guilty of Settling

How many of you guys out there have been guilty of settling? Raise your hands. I have been guilty of this far too many times. Remember when you were younger and your mother said not to touch the hot stove and you did ?. Sometimes you know better but hey you do things anyway.
Is it laziness? Is it a feeling not being good enough? Why do we settle?

My interpretation of settling is simple. It means putting up with less than you deserve. When you entertain people, thoughts,  emotions and circumstances that are not aligned with your true beliefs or goals. Basically, things that have no positive effect on personal growth.

After a little self-reflection,  I have determined three reasons why I have settled in the past and what I have learnt. Let me know if you can relate. Continue reading

JUNE IN SNAPSHOTS & A THOUGHT ON SLOW LIVING

Hi, there lovelies … Happy and blessed Sunday to all of you beautiful souls!

Something about Sundays reverberates quiet reflection for me. For some it is a day of worship, for others, it just screams fun in the sun. If you are lucky you have the day off from work. Whatever your Sunday entails; how about you ask yourself today, What can I do to make life better for me? Be totally selfish. You deserve it. Somehow our souls always have the answers, we know what needs to be done but yet we often times feel guilty about saying no or maybe just disappearing for a few hours for a recharge.

Take a few minutes today to do something that brings you joy. Absolutely no excuses. Even if it is just buying yourself an ice cream cone and pretending that you are a toddler again with not a care in this world. Simply reflect on this past week and what made it great, even if it wasn’t so great to use your imagination it can lead you to some wonderful places. Continue reading

Young at Heart

Over the weekend (31th March – 1st April) my teammates and I, took part in the IFS Bandung Open 2018 (National Inline Freestyle Championship).  We were all representing the Inline Skate Semarang. The competition took place in Saparua Park & Sports Center, Bandung. There were teams from all of Indonesia taking part; there were teams from Lampung, Bengkulu, West Java, East Java, DIY Yogyakarta, DKI Jakarta, Palembang, and many more. We won some second places and third place. I was the eldest in senior women category to compete. Overall, I had a wonderful weekend. Enough, I don’t want to talk about skating, let’s talk about ‘age’ since I was the eldest in my category.

Continue reading