ON MY MIND

Hi loves,

I feel like I need to write a post because…I haven’t written anything in what feels like ages. I’m not sure why. Honestly, I feel like I have nothing to talk about right now, my creativity bubble in the writing department has completely burst. I was constantly inspired and filled with creativity but I feel like now the world is really taking its toll on me and I’m like…do I believe in magic anymore, though? The world is so cold and even the nice things can’t keep my mind off it for too long. There’s too many bigger things going on for me to sit here daydreaming.

I keep writing things but I’m like eh…I don’t wanna post that, mainly because it’s not substantial enough for a blog post and it feels boring and flat and it’s just not the type of stuff I’m trying to put out. I feel like nothing is really happening right now for me to talk about. Is this what it feels like to be truly sucked into the void? I feel like I’m losing interest in a lot of things right now too and that anything I am currently writing is depressing anyway and again, I’m not trying to post stuff like that. 

I wanna be happy for once. Pls go away my anxiety. I’m sure you’re all aware that one of the symptoms of this illness is losing interesting in things you used to love and I’m…trying to fight that really hard right now. It’s heavy.

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Hello World

WOW. I haven’t written a blog post in a LONG TIME. Is anyone else completely shocked that it’s AUGUST? Where has this year gone? In my head it should only be maybe the beginning of May! I can’t believe that this year as unpredictable as it’s been has been is 5 months from being over.

I’ve been wanting to write a post for almost a month now and I have been struggling to find the right words.

This is a weird time. I hate that that’s all I can think to say when describing the current situation of the world. 

This situation is so much greater than science, so much greater than politics, and rules that govern us. It feels like there’s a much larger reason, so much farther beyond what we can even understand for why this is happening at such a rapid, unpredictable rate.

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December

Somehow it is December already, the last month of, not only 2019, but also this decade (the 2010s)! 😮Time really flies! And now, well, let’s say that my life is so completely different.

Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity. You’re not suddenly more happy, wealthy, or powerful, but you understand the world around you better, and you’re at peace with yourself. Learning life’s lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


When I look at my Facebook Time-Hop I want to cringe at how annoying I was. Yes, even at 21! Of course, I am sure give it a couple years I will think I am annoying NOW ( I probably am. I own it.) Continue reading

Process or Product?

Process versus product. The dilemma of many people in the workplace. The dilemma of having to decide which one is more important and implement it.

I personally want to believe with all my heart that it is the process that really matters and hope that the product follows from the process. But real world does not agree with me.

When we get into a new project, job or habit, we need time to get used to it, right? Then, it will hopefully click with us, eventually resulting in good products. Well, if only it was that smooth. Continue reading

My early morning thoughts … Because why would anyone like to get a normal amount of sleep?

My mind can really be a bit rude from time to time! Just as I decide to get a normal (ish) amount of sleep, I start overthinking. Then I’m spinning around my bed like a little possessed demon (whooops, that’s a specificly described image) and I KNOW there is no chance in Hell that I’m actually going to fall asleep anytime soon. The best thing I can do is open up this page and put some thoughts down.

There’s a lot of pressure in being mature. I don’t know how were you guys raised (or how are you raising your children), but I do feel that – as a society – we often push maturity onto kids and teenagers. Of course it’s best if we learn some responsibility from young age, because we can continue to build from a foundation, which is very important. If your parents pamper you too much, chances are you will grow into an arrogant, spoiled adult. It isn’t the rule, but that’s normally what happens.

But … While taking responsibility for our action and being taught about it is very important, I also feel like there’s too much pressure in being mature. Continue reading

How Growing Up Feels Like

I am in that stage of life when I am constantly changing: growing up and trying to embrace myself with every version of who I might be. And I am not the only one that is changing. Everyone and everything is.

When I was younger, my circle of trust was bigger than it is now. We were all talking about problems to everyone we knew and to whoever was even slightly considered as our friend. Well, our problems used to be different back then anyway. As I started growing up, I had a phase when I couldn’t trust anyone. I was feeling a little blue. I was feeling like I was abandoned by myself and anyone that knew me. I closed myself in and that forced me to learn to trust myself and just solve my issues by my own. When I learned to do that (and it indeed took me some time), I was luckily able to abandon that phase and move on.

Then … I became a mix of my young and my blue self. Which basically leads me to my present self.

My present self likes to manage issues on my own as much as that is possible. I like having myself as a best friend. I have to be confident and happy enough to trust myself. But I also understand one thing my blue self never did. We can’t solve everything by our own. We need people who will be by our side and support us. We need people who are able to either subjective or objective give us advices. When we are ready, of course. Continue reading

The Struggle Behind Being Honest On The Social Media


I write a lot about my feelings – on WordPress, Twitter, Instagram, other social outlets … I don’t really hold back, because I feel like I always have quite a lot to say and connecting with other people simply makes you feel … Lighter, easier. Now, here is this – I have to admit that I feel more comfortable sharing through writing than I do through a conversation in real life. Because of this, I feel like a hypocrite whenever I write something and end up posting it, but I know I haven’t talked about it in real life.

The consequence is that there are people out there, on the internet, who might know me better than some of my “real life friends” do. Reasons for this are endless – I don’t trust some people, I don’t feel close enough to some others, I am not in the rightmoodto talk about something … It all depends.

It’s hard to talk about something important to people that you only go out for drink with or to people that you haven’t seen in ages. Either there is nothing to talk about because of the distance between you or there is toomuchto talk about. In the latter, you simply cannot cover all the topics, so you start with the easier and less important ones, then usually run out of time for the things that actually matter. Continue reading

Can we get bored of certain people?

I’ve been asking myself whether it’s possible to simply get bored of certain people. I can say one thing: I no longer stick to the same group of people I used to. I think the reason that people we spend time with often change is the fact that we’re becoming adults, we’re changing and evolving and sometimes we no longer suit together. So … It’s understandable that you could possibly get bored  of certain people, because of many reasons:

  1. You start valuing different things (from money to friends and boyfriends/girlfriends).
  2. You have different hobbies and spend your free time very differently.
    And so on, probably.

My main question now is, does that change with age?

Because, I don’t think people ever stop evolving, changing. It’s easy to be “friends” with people on college/ a job, with people you met on concerts … Because you know you have something in common and you have topics to talk about. Then again, those people don’t necessarily have to be your friends, because it takes so much more to call someone a friend. However, you can have a fallout with a good friend just as easily as you can realize that an acquantaince can become a friend. Continue reading

Hey, How Are You?

“Hey, how are you?” 

“I’m fine.”

How many times have you said this line? “I’m Fine.” I know I have said it multiple times. I always tell other people I’m fine whenever they ask me how I am. But it’s a lie. I read an article about the things we lie about everyday and “I’m fine” is one of them. 

Although I laughed out loud, I realised that I lie. I lie about my feelings to other people. Other people lie about their feelings to me. We all lie. We create this public persona that has to be a perfect. Why should other people know that I’m having a rough day? I want to be fun and cool, not the person who complains about their problems. This is what we all think.  Continue reading

Sense of being FREE

 What does “Being and feeling FREE mean ? “…I’ve been have having this question, unanswered for a very long time. In day to day life, we see and meet new people who perfectly finish their given task, as well as have time for fun, even in between those pressure filled situations.

Does that mean people who handle stressful situation well are all ‘feeling free’ all the time ?

In the game of running behind success and getting hold of recognition, people seem to be happy and enjoy their every moment in life. Then, does that mean they are all feeling “free” by doing whatever they wish and whatever pleases them ? Continue reading