Hope, In Times of Darkness

Some time ago, I had gone through something that nearly pushed me over the edge. It was something that I never expected, nor had any idea how to deal with. Someone very close to my heart made some bad decisions and threw her own life into a chaotic whirlpool, at the same time turning my life upside down.

This post is not about that person or the events that took place but rather the effect it had on me and my own life.

I had never in my life been so depressed. Not many people knew, just family and very close friends. I couldn’t talk about it without crying. I couldn’t go anywhere without crying. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t focus. I wasn’t able to sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was in a daze. Continue reading

Turn the pages…

Life? What exactly is life? There is so much more in life than what we see. Life is beyond people we think are important, but they are not. Life is something we need to live and not just breathe.

A little late, but I am realising this. And learning the lessons of life bit by bit, new chapters each day. Life is about turning pages and trying to revise what we learned from the previous chapter.

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Those 4 Years

It’s been 4 years since I started working. I can still recall what exactly I was sitting in the office at this time- struggling with bulky files given and trying to figure out what data I’m supposed to pick up.

I reached office and was welcomed by Boss and other colleagues. I was given bulky files to go through and work on them and that’s how my day started. I’ll never ever forget those days! They taught me a lot… hardships, struggle, friendship, standing for your friends, value of money, savings, home-made food, happiness even in limited resources.

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I faced difficult times too. Things improved later on and I started getting my salary. Those were times when I was really happy even after facing such difficult times and without many amenities. I never cribbed that I don’t have that fancy job and salary package, but I was happy and that I feel was enough to get me going. I still strongly feel that that was the best phase of life in terms of everything. Continue reading

Taking A Break & I Am Still Changing

How I’ve missed this place! I’m sorry, the whole week was pretty hectic. Taking care of business, you know how it is. However, it’s not a reason for not posting here, is it?

Well, my excuse is that I’ve been experiencing quite an intense energy shift these past few days and I needed time to adjust to this new level of thoughts.

I have yet to find the words to be able to share my current journey with you in ways that will make sense and help with raising the vibrations of the field.

Although, I feel the vibrations rising internally. My mind is going places I never thought possible.

I have been told from the starting, that life gets better. This is just a phase and it will pass. Everything happens for good, you just don’t realise the good part until you’ve been through the bad. Continue reading

You Don’t Have to Like Me

Some days I feel alone, other-days I’d rather be alone. Some days I want to move out and make friends, other days I question these things, do I have to? does it matter?

I really do love my space, I have few friends. I have never been scared of being alone, it gets lonely sometimes but I don’t mind anymore, am I becoming a recluse  because I find myself not even caring for company, the only company I really want isn’t available and I just can’t bring myself to invite other people to my corner. Continue reading

I Can Survive Anything

Okay. So here we are again. I don’t really know what this post will be about yet but I had the “urge” or need to write for over a week now. At first, I had another topic in mind, which eventually never happened because I either was too tired or afraid to write it down – you never know who will read your blog in the end and how they’ll see you afterwards. I concluded that I can’t force specific topics and issues, so whenever I feel to write or talk about something, I will do it. And if I just want to ramble, I will do it.

And today I will ramble and probably talking a lot of nonsense. This is just because I have so much going on. I can feel my mood swinging very often and just be mentally exhausted. I know for a fact that I am not physically tired, even though I rarely get my 8 hours sleep. Sometimes I’m just tired of having to function, to work, socialize, walk around or even send a simple message via WhatsApp. I don’t know which is worse; being in a room full of people, or being alone with my thoughts. Both are debilitating. I could stay in bed all day and still be tired. Tired and unsatisfied.

It’s been a while since I journaled. How have I been doing? Really well, thanks for asking. It’s been hella busy, but I’m handling things better than I thought I would.

I did have a meltdown in the beginning of the year when I was suddenly hit with all the shit I had to do. I felt myself sinking, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to get out.

But I did. I always do. Continue reading

LESSONS LEARNED FROM 2 YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Last month marked 2 years of being married to my wonderful husband and I am so thankful to be his wife. Our first 2 years of marriage was interesting and challenging. Marriage brought out our best strengths and weaknesses.

It doesn’t matter whether you dated 3 weeks or 7 years before getting married, your spouse will constantly surprise you with something new.

So here’s a little breakdown of what I’ve learned so far. Continue reading

Pregnancy Journey: I’m Pregnant + My First Trimester Story

Ok, so this blog comes a little late. I’m now 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant, meaning I’m well into my second trimester. That’s right guys!!! I’m pregnant! I can’t even tell you how relieved I am just share this news with all of you. I don’t know if you noticed over the past few months, but I kept talking on Instagram story.

So today, I thought I’d share an honest little recap of what my first trimester was like.

It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant and stay pregnant. Typing it out right now, that number doesn’t seem very long. I mean, most chapters of life—whether school-related, professional or personal—last longer than that. And I know that many couples battle to get pregnant for years and years and years, and a number like 2 might be laughable to them.

But I will say that those years were the longest of my life. We started out how most couples start out: “not not trying.” And when nothing happened, we started “trying trying.” You know: taking vitamins, altering lifestyles, etc. And when nothing came from that, we kind of just floated along, too scared to take the next step.

The darkest part of the journey, though, was my miscarriage last year. Continue reading

Lately

 

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Life is crazy, y’all.

Almost every time that I talk to someone, the conversation goes something like this-

“Hey! How are you?”

“TIRED”.

The fact that I haven’t posted here in 22 days is enough to tell you that life is starting to swallow me a bit.

I feel like I haven’t been super active here in the blogging world lately, and although you may know a bit about what I’ve been up to lately if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (there’s some shameless self-promo for ya), I thought that I’d do a little wrap-up here on the blog of what life’s been looking like lately. ♥

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Adult Life: My Work and Everything in Between

Today I just wanted to write about work and some essential down time. I absolutely love my job, but technically it falls under the ‘maintenance and assurance’ sector for the telecommunication company and well, we all know that means  our busiest sector and I feel like I spend all my time at work but this means it’s even more important for me to make some time for myself.

I work at least 51 hours a week, so obviously for me, I will never find balance in terms of hours spent, but that’s a common problem, so for me it’s more about how I’m feeling and what makes me happy. I’m so lucky that I enjoy what I do, not everyone has that luxury, but having some time to unwind is key to keeping myself sane. Continue reading