Some time ago, I had gone through something that nearly pushed me over the edge. It was something that I never expected, nor had any idea how to deal with. Someone very close to my heart made some bad decisions and threw her own life into a chaotic whirlpool, at the same time turning my life upside down.
This post is not about that person or the events that took place but rather the effect it had on me and my own life.
I had never in my life been so depressed. Not many people knew, just family and very close friends. I couldn’t talk about it without crying. I couldn’t go anywhere without crying. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t focus. I wasn’t able to sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was in a daze. Continue reading
It’s been about a week since my last post. I’ve been wanting to write something, but every time I sit down at the computer I can’t think of anything. I keep writing a sentence or two and then deleting it. Even now, I’m finding it hard to figure out exactly where this post is going.
I’ve never been very good at handling writer’s block. I always sit there for a good while, before giving up and going off to do something else. That is actually one of the things I love about having this blog. It forces (in a way) me to write. I feel an obligation to write at least once a week (and yes I am aware that doesn’t always happen, but life can be busy). I believe that this expectation I’ve put on myself has helped me learn how to get past writer’s block. Continue reading
It is not the easiest journey, but a determined one for myself and my family. After giving birth to a child, something clicked inside myself to overcome certain tendencies and create a better mindset for myself and for them.
I love the idea of a weekly transformation or challenge to achieve a more positive life and positive mindset. I’ve noticed in my own life that small things can often make a huge difference. I often find myself dwelling on the negative, so taking in the good moments would definitely be a good thing for me.
Positivity stems from our thoughts and way of thinking, as well as learning to be mindful and self loving. Seeing my self in a better light then I have in the past is one of the biggest differences I have made and has truly changed my own behavior and outlook. Continue reading
My Dearest Baby Girl,
As I sit in awe of you every day, my heart grows more and more full. My love for you intensifies… and my fears about your future multiply.
Life is fragile. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring- the only certainty we have in life is that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
So given that tomorrow is not given I want my daughter to know the following…
I love you. I love you with all my heart. There is so much I want for you, and so much that I cannot control. Continue reading
Life? What exactly is life? There is so much more in life than what we see. Life is beyond people we think are important, but they are not. Life is something we need to live and not just breathe.
A little late, but I am realising this. And learning the lessons of life bit by bit, new chapters each day. Life is about turning pages and trying to revise what we learned from the previous chapter.
It’s been 4 years since I started working. I can still recall what exactly I was sitting in the office at this time- struggling with bulky files given and trying to figure out what data I’m supposed to pick up.
I reached office and was welcomed by Boss and other colleagues. I was given bulky files to go through and work on them and that’s how my day started. I’ll never ever forget those days! They taught me a lot… hardships, struggle, friendship, standing for your friends, value of money, savings, home-made food, happiness even in limited resources.
I faced difficult times too. Things improved later on and I started getting my salary. Those were times when I was really happy even after facing such difficult times and without many amenities. I never cribbed that I don’t have that fancy job and salary package, but I was happy and that I feel was enough to get me going. I still strongly feel that that was the best phase of life in terms of everything. Continue reading
I’m not much of a people person. I never have been. I enjoy my alone time. Solitude. It’s what makes me tick. I enjoy being by myself. I accomplish so much when I am left to my own devices. When there are others around, I tend to get caught up in never-ending conversations, and other things that distract me from being productive.
The internet has caused me to be unproductive. I’ve spent too much time on social media as of late, and the negativity has pulled me down into a black hole. I normally just let it roll off me like water off a duck’s back, but eventually, the accumulation of negative bullshit starts eating away at me and I react. Sometimes I over-react. That’s just how I’m wired. I can’t seem to control it.
This time, I took some time away from the negative posts and the people that post them. Back to solitude, the joy of being alone. The internet and the connection with others is grand, however, it becomes too crowded at times. Too many opinions, too much division, hatred, and misinformation. Continue reading
How I’ve missed this place! I’m sorry, the whole week was pretty hectic. Taking care of business, you know how it is. However, it’s not a reason for not posting here, is it?
Well, my excuse is that I’ve been experiencing quite an intense energy shift these past few days and I needed time to adjust to this new level of thoughts.
I have yet to find the words to be able to share my current journey with you in ways that will make sense and help with raising the vibrations of the field.
Although, I feel the vibrations rising internally. My mind is going places I never thought possible.
I have been told from the starting, that life gets better. This is just a phase and it will pass. Everything happens for good, you just don’t realise the good part until you’ve been through the bad. Continue reading
Some days I feel alone, other-days I’d rather be alone. Some days I want to move out and make friends, other days I question these things, do I have to? does it matter?
I really do love my space, I have few friends. I have never been scared of being alone, it gets lonely sometimes but I don’t mind anymore, am I becoming a recluse because I find myself not even caring for company, the only company I really want isn’t available and I just can’t bring myself to invite other people to my corner. Continue reading
This is more a reminder for me than an update for anybody else. Life is pretty hectic at the moment and I need to remind myself that I also have this blog.
Let’s be honest some days you just aren’t feeling it we just don’t have it in us to kill it and really who says we have to? We were not created to be constantly seeking, doing, searching or forcing. There is no shame in wanting and needing a break. sometimes your soul absolutely deserves it.
There will always be a time when you feel like shit, when your energy will be depleted; when you will revel in feeling sorry for yourself ; when you literally may want to set your entire life on fire and watch it burn. Do you think having these moments or thoughts makes you a bad person? They sure as hell do not.
There really is nothing sexy or appealing about perfection. Own your energy, revel in your mess. Do the very best with whatever you are given. The world does not need you picture perfect and and prim and proper. The world needs your rawness, the uncut and unedited version. Continue reading