Idle Time. Sometimes Fire, Sometimes Ice.

Uuhhhmm… I didn’t write much last month.  I couldn’t write.  Both hands were busy just hanging on. First things first: This blog exists mostly for myself. It exists because I was looking for means that would coerce me to write more — and better. See, nowadays we use written communication as much as never before, but I’d argue that at the same time the quality of our writing is in deterioration. At least, for me it is.

So now I’m trying to get better at writing, hoping that on the one side being more proficient at it would bring back some of the pleasure in doing it, and on the other hand for the practical reason that being able to write well is a tremendously useful skill.

Ahh…I’ve got a lot going on.  I can’t really write about it all but it’s really nothing a bunch of money, time, energy, wisdom and divine intervention can’t take care of. I’m overwhelmed. I’d like to get back to the days of just being whelmed. But, I suppose God didn’t build me for being light of heart and free of cares.

It is finally Saturday. I feel like I really need a weekend, a weekend where I do nothing except rest, lay back in the bed, put my feet up and chill. I feel pretty strongly this is what I need but I also feel that deep down if I could get a weekend like that, it would accomplish nothing.

Often, I feel I need to be idle but being idle just causes me to sit and overthink the world. I think what I really need is not so much being idle but peacefully doing something I don’t HAVE to do.  Writing is another thing that passes time in a less hectic yet productive way that does a lot more for me than simply being idle.

I guess what I actually need is to have a weekend where my main goal is to accomplish something I don’t have to accomplish.

I spend so many days trying to accomplish what I need to do and what has to be done and being unsuccessful I end up accomplishing stress more than anything else. 

I often feel the need to just shut down and enjoy doing nothing.  But, that seldom helps me at all.  I think I misread this and what I really need is to do something different that fills a part of me instead of me trying to fill what everyone else needs.

My work can be really satisfying, but it can also be very draining.  My responsibilities can be rewarding but they can also steal my peace and ambition.  I feel so tired trying to spread myself thin and make enough of me to go around that I mistakenly think I need to stop and be a bump on the sofa for a couple of days.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve let idleness take over and it just didn’t fix me like I thought it ought to.

So, my goal for the weekend is to start and finish doing something I don’t need to do and that doesn’t have to be done.  Hopefully, I can take a few pictures and show you my unnecessary accomplishment and we can all smile together.

“You are very chilled out” is something I hear very often.

My husband find this to be the funniest statement of the century. “Are you sure they are talking about you?” my husband smirks.  

Well, a woman is an amalgamation of so many differebt layers, isn’t she?

I am chilled out if I want to be, but I can explode the very next second like a super-active volcano. I am sure I am not alone, most of us can relate to it. These are not ‘mood swings’ but me shifting into different roles faster than you said those two words.

As women, we wear so many hats in a day. We are tutors, chefs, drivers. Cleaners, life coaches, motivational speakers. This is an addition to the work we do in our professions. So yes, we change gears with an intensity which the movie ‘Fast and Furious’, would also be unable to match.

Mostly I am patient, understanding, accomodating, sympathetic…basically all things nice, but don’t test me each and every day. Ok?!

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