May 2020 – Peek Inside My Mind

The range of emotions we experience is vast, but for many of us there’s just one that we want to get our hands on – happiness. I’m a big believer in feeling all the emotions, it’s healthy to feel sad sometimes and it’s OK if we’re not jumping for joy every day.

I’ve been jumping for joy a little less lately, and that’s totally OK. We all go through peaks and troughs when it comes to being happy. In the past I’ve been horribly low and also a shinier, happier version of my current self.

Most of us meander between the two extremes depending on circumstances, life stages and mindset. Going between the two has however given me a good understanding of what I need to feel ‘happy’. To feel content.

This may sound silly to some but yes, self care guilt is a thing. I’ve experienced it for as long as I can remember. Taking care of me fully is a new concept in my world. I’ve always done things for me but I always did more for others.

There was a time when I thought that giving much of myself to everyone else was the right thing to do. I always seemed to have more of something than someone else who needed it. What I’ve come to realise though, is that no matter how much you give, it will never be enough. There will always be a hand outstretched once you’re willing to give.

Ultimately you are the only person responsible for making sure you’re okay. Not your friends, your spouse, your boss or anyone. I had a habit of always pegging my happiness on some one or some thing. It was always ‘if my boss would act right, I’d be so much happier’ or ‘if my husband or friend would only pay me the attention I deserve, I’d be much more content’.