My early morning thoughts … Because why would anyone like to get a normal amount of sleep?

My mind can really be a bit rude from time to time! Just as I decide to get a normal (ish) amount of sleep, I start overthinking. Then I’m spinning around my bed like a little possessed demon (whooops, that’s a specificly described image) and I KNOW there is no chance in Hell that I’m actually going to fall asleep anytime soon. The best thing I can do is open up this page and put some thoughts down.

There’s a lot of pressure in being mature. I don’t know how were you guys raised (or how are you raising your children), but I do feel that – as a society – we often push maturity onto kids and teenagers. Of course it’s best if we learn some responsibility from young age, because we can continue to build from a foundation, which is very important. If your parents pamper you too much, chances are you will grow into an arrogant, spoiled adult. It isn’t the rule, but that’s normally what happens.

But … While taking responsibility for our action and being taught about it is very important, I also feel like there’s too much pressure in being mature.

A lot of people saying that I am mature. Often, I agree. However, it doesn’t mean I do not have moments of immaturity. I too feel offended by certain words, I need time to forgive people, I sometimes feel like my parents do not understand where do I come from by doing certain things and I feel like I have to discuss that and feel angry and immature. I say things I regret. I do things I regret.

I especially feel like just because I’m “mature for my age” some people expect me to hold myself together at all times and they’re so shocked whenever I make a mistake or do something that isn’t considered as a mature reaction/activity. I cannot be perfect and I’m still learning about so many things. I do believe myself that I am mature.

It makes me feel especially small when people try to convince you that your feelings don’t matter, that you shouldn’t be angry, sad, lonely, resentful, annoyed, fearful (to just name a couple of emotions that count as “negative” ones) because that is “immature” and not “what a grown up would do”. Cut it off! I’ve seen adults being angry at each other and resentful of one another for the smallest and most stupid things ever and it took them months or even YEARS to get over.

Why am I then acting immature whenever I fail to agree with a person and whenever I acknowledge the fact that I, too, have feelings, not just them?

I know for a fact that hiding your emotions and replying in neutral tones might save you from getting into an argument, but that won’t fulfill your soul and will instead lead you into your own personal destruction. You cannot act numb just because you want to look mature. Being mature, to me, means embracing everything that you feel, think and do and either being proud of it or learning from it. 

I want to outrun from the pressure of being mature and let people know that no matter how mature we all are at times, we should also give ourselves a chance to act stupid or irrational for the sake of being human. 

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