Taking A Break & I Am Still Changing

How I’ve missed this place! I’m sorry, the whole week was pretty hectic. Taking care of business, you know how it is. However, it’s not a reason for not posting here, is it?

Well, my excuse is that I’ve been experiencing quite an intense energy shift these past few days and I needed time to adjust to this new level of thoughts.

I have yet to find the words to be able to share my current journey with you in ways that will make sense and help with raising the vibrations of the field.

Although, I feel the vibrations rising internally. My mind is going places I never thought possible.

I have been told from the starting, that life gets better. This is just a phase and it will pass. Everything happens for good, you just don’t realise the good part until you’ve been through the bad.

I still remember my childhood. The fun, the joy, the happiness I used to get when I played with my parents, my brother, my cousins. The only worries I had at that time was what if my mom made the dish I didn’t like or what if my parents take me again to that dreaded place called ‘school’ with that evil looking teacher.

I remember everything. I remember the time when all my cousins were playing and I was the only one who had to sleep early because I had to go to that stupid school again early morning. I remember all the tantrums, the fake feverish feeling, that stomach ache that I used to get every morning just to take an off from school.

Then, after a few days I got habitual. Still, not fond, but habitual. It all became a routine. Wake up early, take a short 15 minutes bath when you’re still half asleep, then school. Then, slowly and steadily I started socializing. In my case, nearly mumbling to myself because I was afraid. Afraid because what if someone made fun of the way I talk or what if I say the wrong thing and people make a laugh about it.

Then I started observing rather than speaking and it felt good. I started listening to people, the way they said things, their body gesture, knowledge and everything.

People do change a lot with time, and I am the living proof. I have been observing each and every step of every person around me since childhood, I was there for my friends whenever they needed someone to talk to or actually if they needed someone who could listen, I was there if someone started crying in front of me but never had the words to calm them down, I was always there if someone needed a favour even at the point of time when I wanted someone to be the listener for just once, when I wanted a favour from people or when I wanted to cry out loud just because it had been too long that someone came down to me to ask about my life, had the patience to gain my trust so that I could open up, but, it had always been me, just me.

As I started growing up, everything started changing. The cousins were no more interested in playing, I started loving to go to school, not because I loved to study or wake up early, but just because being in school was always better than staying at home, doing nothing and getting bored.

It was the only place where people started having peace with the fact that “I don’t talk”. Not that they never tried, but, they never tried in the right way. Me, on the other hand, started putting my mind in writing rather than speaking. I have always loved to write because it is always comfortable to write rather than mumble the wrong things.

It feels safe as if there is no one who can make fun of me or my thoughts because this is the place where I feel strong, I feel confident, I believe in every word I write and can have a heated argument to prove my point right. This is my strong side. Writing has always helped me to reduce stress and played a great role in turning me into what I am today.

Today, thankfully, I have people who trust me and believe in me, who had the patience to deal with an ambivert, who have helped me pass through my thick and thin, who forced me to start trying because you will never know that you can succeed if you never try, and now I try, I try my best every day, I know that my personality is changing in a positive manner, I know that I am becoming a better person day by day and that too can also be termed as success.

Each and every failure in my life taught me to move on, that I can do much better and some day and I will. I will succeed just like everyone else. I too will become someone’s inspiration, a role model.

We go through many set backs in life but the only important thing is the way you overcome them and the lesson you learn from it.

I am still changing, still learning new things, now I love it when people take out my mistakes, argue to prove me wrong because that is the only way that I become better.

So, take chances, take risks you never know you might just surprise yourself and succeed.

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