Where Do I Belong?

Lately I have been having some intense mood swings. Some days I feel like I am on top of the world, like my life has never been better before; other times I can get frustrated and angry for absolutely no reason. All of a sudden everything seems to irritate me and I feel like throwing stuff around. It feels a bit weird to be honest.

My life now is better manageable than it was over the last 5 years; I finally have some time again to rest and do some things just for the enjoyment of it, which I have not been able to do in the 5 years before. It sure seems like I should be able to handle the things that are going on. And yet, for some reason, I feel totally out of control on a weekly basis.

For example, last Sunday was an easy day for me. I woke up after 8 hours of sleep. The only thing I had planned to do that day was to go skating. And somehow, that was already too much. After a few hours I was so immensely tired and frustrated that I felt like kicking something. Once I am in that kind of mood I know there is nothing I can do except for wait it out and mostly sleep it out. The thing that baffled me was that normally such a mood only occurs if I have been doing too many things that day, which was definitely not the case that Sunday.

What is happening with me? Continue reading