“R U OK?”

Btw..it KILLED me to have to write like that. Under normal circumstances I do not EVER do text speak.  And if I get a text with that particular dialect then I delete it there and then WITHOUT responding.

I must be honest. I’m seldom truthful when people ask me if I’m OK. I usually lie (even to my own parents!) and tell everyone that  I’m just-fine-thank-you-very-much. Are you guilty of that too?

It just feels like too much work to actually tell them what’s really going on.  Occasionally there are trust issues as well and I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell someone that I’m not OK. Also, I will probably lose it if I get a platitude from someone – this also prevents me from being completely honest about my feelings and  I often wonder if people are really interested in my well-being or if they are just being polite when they ask if I’m OK.

I kind of expect people to all be the same and not be completely truthful when they are NOT OK.  Mostly that happens, but often people actually are honest and say “No, I am  not OK because of xyz”. It kind of shocks me sometimes because I never expect it but I have gotten better at being open to people sharing all their life details with me.

Anyway. I’ve been thinking about whether I’m OK. And actually. I am OK. Things in my life are not exactly smooth-sailing but for once, I don’t feel like I’m floundering. I don’t feel completely overwhelmed by life. I don’t feel the need to sleep it all away.

There are a few things that are worrying me at the moment.  For the purposes of acknowledging them (in order for me to deal with them and move on) I will list them here:

1. My final project

2. My health.

3. The fact that I seem to BATTLE to finish what I start.

Notice that none of the things I worry about relate to money? That, my friends, is HUGE. It means that I’m OK.

tout va bien

For me, being OK means being able to get out of bed every day and face whatever the world throws at me.  It means that I don’t feel completely crippled and overwhelmed by a situation. It means that I can maintain a healthy perspective on situations that one would generally consider to be stressful. It means that I can truly enjoy the little pleasures (like the sun on my face or playing inline skate) and remain in the moment without having the negative voices in my head overwhelm me

In order for me to be OK, I do need to do certain things,  like get enough sleep, try to be as organised as possible, try to keep my home tidy, try to stay on top of the bills, take some time-out, do exercise and eat as healthily as possible. I need to have clear boundaries too.

And so today on this day I need you to answer two questions.

What does it mean to you to be OK? 

Are you currently OK? If you are currently NOT OK, what is causing that?

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